


The Weight Of The Past

by Kristieribbon



Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF, Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:18:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristieribbon/pseuds/Kristieribbon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The past two years have been hard for Meryl. Forgetting him and moving on isn't something she can say she's done yet, but she has managed to survive as a single mom. A job is offered to Meryl and Charlie, but accepting it means moving right back to the town she ran from nearly two years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, decided i'd post my new fic on here as well as my tumblr (@almostseemalive) Let me know what you think and i'll post the next chapter soon.

Meryl had always known that the arrangement they had would end in heartbreak, she had just chose to ignore the nagging thoughts in the back of her head, telling her to get out before it was too late. 

Meryl knew that Maks' other life would always come before her, in the end she was just an escape. He was her escape too, they used each other - that was just what they did. Except she wasn't supposed to fall for him - he was already married.

Becoming his partner on Dancing With The Stars had been a blessing and curse. Meryl had always been fascinated by Maks, and over the time she spent as his partner, she couldn't help but fall for him. She loved everything about him, the way his chocolate brown hair felt with her fingers tangled in it, the way he made everything he did seem effortless, how he made her feel so small and fragile yet safe at the same time. She could go on all day about the things she loved about Maksim Chmerkovskiy. 

Meryl lets out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and rolls over in her bed. She can't help but cringe when she feels the cold sheets on the other side of her bed.  
She closes her eyes and lets her mind wander to the thoughts she'd been avoiding for the past year - the thoughts of him. Of them, their past, and their end. 

"This has to be a secret, Mer." She remembers nodding eagerly as he leaned above her, his large hand hovering over the last garment separating them from having each other. "Please tell me now if you have any problems with this - I don't think I can keep my hands off of you for another minute." 

"Just fuck me, Maks." Her stomach was knotting in anticipation. He probably could have gotten anything he wanted from her then, she was putty in his hands. 

The air around Meryl suddenly seems much too cold. She grips the blanket and pulls it closer to her now shivering body, letting out a few shaky breaths. 

She tries to fight off the memories, Meryl was sick of laying in her bed and crying almost every night, but they flooded her brain anyways. 

Meryl remembers feeling his strong, muscular body wrapped around her when she woke up the next morning. That was probably the safest she'd ever felt in her whole life, every time she found herself wrapped in his arms, their legs tangled together under the messed up sheets.

Meryl knew that to Maks it was just an escape, to get away from the stress of everything, and she knew her place in the arrangement. They both got pleasure, but the next day, everything was forgotten. They pretended like nothing had ever happened between them, because those were Maks' conditions, and who was Meryl to argue with that? It wasn't her that has anything to lose. He was the one who was cheating on his wife. 

"I know you're awake, Meryl." He had whispered to her. "You're not going to tell anyone about last night - right?" His dark eyes showed fear, and again her heart had melted. 

"Of course not." She hid how disappointed she really felt with a wide smile. He had returned the grin before sliding out of her bed. She had watching him get dressed, just laying there with the dopey grin still plastered on her face. She had gotten what she'd wanted, him, but her mind filled with nothing but confusion and maybe even a little regret, even as he left with nothing more than a "See you at rehearsal tomorrow." That was the start of their silent agreement, they would pleasure each other for the night, and then he would leave before she woke up. There were never any words exchanged once they entered her apartment, not even during sex. They never shared kisses, or anything romantic really, just the occasional moan or groan which was always ignored by the other person. 

She knew it was because he felt guilty, and he had reason to be. He was cheating on his wife, Sofia. Kissing or speaking each others names made everything so real - something that Maks never wanted. He would spend a few nights a week at Meryl's, Sofia believed what he said when he told her he had to work really late during the Dancing With The Stars season. Meryl never quite figured out why he was cheating on Sofia, she was beautiful. She was everything a guy could ever want in a woman, tall, blonde with large breasts and a perfect hourglass figure. Meryl never knew what Maks really gained out of their agreement, because all Maks and her did together was have sex. Lots of sex, but it still wasn't anything he couldn't get from his supermodel wife. 

She couldn't help but thinking that Maks knew she had broken their promise, the one they had made the next day at dance rehearsal. "We can't fall for each other." He had said sternly. "It'll just end in hurt for one of us. Please promise me you won't." At that point she didn't love him yet, she was completely satisfied with what they had. As time went on though, Meryl found herself staying up long after Maks had already fallen asleep, knowing that he would be gone once she woke up. She spent many nights in his arms, wishing that things could be different. Wishing that she could be different, wishing that Maks would love her. It was selfish thinking, and that's why she never tried to ask Maks about the looks he would give her when they were rehearsing, the ones that showed nothing but adoration. She never asked about the times when he accidentally moaned her name as he climaxed, and she most definitely did not ask about the time she was up thinking about what the hell she was doing, being his mistress, and she felt Maks press a kiss to her neck and whisper "i'm so sorry," in her ear before leaving, much earlier than he ever had before. She also never mentioned the tears that had stained the pillowcase on his side that night. 

Meryl was interrupted from her thoughts when she heard a loud wail coming from the baby monitor set on her nightstand. With a sigh she crawled out of the warmth of her bed and rushed down the hallway. 

"I'm coming, baby." She recites in a sing song voice as she approaches the crib. "Shh, don't cry baby. You're okay." She whispers as she picks up her daughter. 

Meryl gently sits down in the rocking chair in the middle of the room, cooing and whispering sweet nothings in her baby's ear. 

Although her and Maks' relationship was toxic no matter what way you looked at it, something good did come out of it, and her name was Anastasia Svetlana Davis. Meryl couldn't have asked for anything different, although her daughters birth was unplanned and somewhat inconvenient, she would have never traded Anastasia for anything. She was Meryl's pride and joy, no matter if her father knew her or not. 

Eventually Anastasia stops crying and falls asleep under her mothers gentle touch as she strokes her soft brown curls. 

Anastasia looks so much like her father, Meryl's had trouble since the day she was born with the media asking if Ana was Maks' baby. Of course Meryl had denied it, over and over again, but it only brought back memories every time somebody asked her about it. Memories that she wanted to forget. 

As Meryl rocks in the chair with the small child, she remembers the last day she saw Maks. He had called her, sounding frantic and begged to come over. She had agreed, of course, thinking that it was just like every other day he came over. It was just about a month after her and Maks had won the mirrorball trophy, so their encounters has become less frequent, he no longer had an excuse to tell his wife. 

By the time Maks had arrived, she was a little worried. He sped into her driveway far faster than he needed to, and she watched through the window as he power-walked to her house. He didn't even bother to knock, just burst through the door and approached her with a predatory look in his eyes. 

"Wait, Maks, what's wrong?" She had tried to ask, but much to her surprise Maks silenced her with his lips. "Please... We can talk after." He looked at her with those big chocolate eyes and she melted into his touch. He made quick work of her clothes, being much rougher than he ever had before. By the time they were finished, Meryl was sure she had bruises on her hips from how rough he had been, although she couldn't deny that she had enjoyed this different side of him, just a little bit. 

Maks looked at her, and for once she saw vulnerability in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have came in here and been so... rough." He whispers, standing up to put his clothes back on. "I just... Meryl..." He pulls up his pants and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Sofia's pregnant." 

Meryl was still on the couch, naked, her eyes wide as dinner plates. "I can't be doing this anymore. We have to stop this, we can't just sneak around forever." He refused to look at her. "Thank you for a great season, and good luck with your future." His expression looked hurt, and he opened his mouth to say something else but stopped himself. He left her apartment without so much as a goodbye. 

She never moved from the couch that night, she didn't even cry. She knew it was coming, she knew that that's all she was, a booty call. The sun rose the next morning and it was then that Meryl realized that in his frenzy, Maks had forgotten to use a condom. 

Now her beautiful Anastasia would grow up without a father, and that was all because of her choice to settle as being second pick.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. Thought i'd post the next chapter since I already had it written out. Sorry it's a little short!

"So, what did you need to tell me?" Meryl chews on the inside of her cheek as she leads her mom to the kitchen. "Coffee?" 

"No thanks, Mer." She shakes her head as she pulls out a chair at the kitchen table, Meryl sits next to her. "I got a call from Charlie last night. He was looking for you, he said you weren't answering your phone. He told me just to have you call him when you got the chance. It sounded important." Her mother smiled and looked around the kitchen. "Where's my beautiful grandbaby?" She questions her daughter. 

Meryl points to the stairs. "She's asleep, but I'm gonna wake her up to eat soon. Was that all you had to tell me? You could have just called." 

"I wanted to make sure you and Anastasia were safe." 

Meryl could tell her mother was lying and got up from her seat at the table. "You really should just tell me, ma." She says as she makes her way to the fridge to get food ready for Anastasia. 

"Well... Have you seen any magazines lately?" Her mother fidgets her hands in her lap. 

"No, why?" Meryl raises her eyebrow suspiciously. 

"It's not a big deal, I just thought you should know that Maksim and his wife got divorced." 

Her mother knew Maks was Ana's father, Cheryl had never approved of what they were doing, she felt Maks was using her daughter, but Meryl was old enough to make her own decisions. 

For a second a flicker of hope flared in Meryl's chest, but it was quickly replaced with anger. He literally fucked her and left her to fend for herself and now his baby. His baby that he'd never know was his. This was all his fault. 

Meryl's hand is shaking now, but she continues to make Ana's food. "Well that was never any of my business, was it? At least she won't be married to a cheater anymore." Meryl didn't mean to snap at her mom, but by the look on Cheryl's face, she understood. 

Meryl turns away before her mother can say anything else. "I'm going to get Ana. You can join us for dinner if you'd like." 

She hurries up the stairs and into Ana's room, leaning against the inside of the door and letting out a choked cry. As she fights the tears, she notices Ana watching her curiously from inside of the crib. "Oh baby, what are we gonna do?" Meryl whispers as she approaches the crib. "It's been almost two years since i've seen him, and I still can't get him out of my mind." Ana makes grabby hands at her mother and stares at her with those big brown eyes, his eyes, as Meryl talks about her father. "I'm glad you're not old enough to know what's going on yet, Tash. Mommy's trying to be strong for you, for us." She whispers to the small child before picking her up and making her way back down the stairs. 

Cheryl's gone by the time she reaches the small kitchen of her apartment. Meryl figured that her mother saw her distress and knew she needed to be left alone. She didn't want her mind to wander to the past, to question if she made the right choice. Perhaps if she didn't leave she could have told Maks that Ana was his child. She shakes her head in attempt to clear it, Meryl knew deep down that she made the right decision. She couldn't have forced Maks to take responsibility for two children, but it still drives her crazy to think about the what ifs. 

Ana and Meryl spent the night watching disney classics, drinking warm milk and definitely not thinking about Maksim Chmerkovskiy. 

\---

"Come on Mer! When does an opportunity like this come up? We all know you don't like Michigan anyways. At least think about it?" Charlie whined over the phone.

An opportunity for Charlie and herself had come up, if she agreed they'd be teaching at an ice dancing studio back in Los Angeles. It was great pay and it'd support her and Ana, with plenty to spare. The only problem was Meryl's fear of returning to LA, and realizing the possibility that Maks and herself could run into each other at places of common interest. 

When Meryl had tested positive she decided to move back to her home state, and moved in with her parents. Charlie had decided to stay and he took over her old apartment so she could leave before the year lease was up. She eventually found an apartment in Michigan, and settled down to make sure Anastasia had the best possible life that Meryl could give her. 

Now Charlie was asking her to give up her quiet life to jump back into the craziness and pressure that comes with being back on the ice. 

Although doing this was going to be scary, moving back to exactly where she ran from, she knew that she needed to take the risk. She needed to do this, for Ana, so that she would have enough money to support her, always. She was going to forget about the past and be the strong woman that Ana needed in her life.

"I'll do it." Meryl finally breathes into the phone. "I'll do it." She repeats herself louder this time. 

"Really? Wow, that's so awesome Mer! This means so much to me, you will not regret it. You can stay with me at my place, well I guess your old place, until you find out exactly what you wanna do." She can hear the excitement in Charlie's voice and it gives her the last reassuring push that she needed to know that this was the right decision. Charlie wouldn't get the job on his own. 

"Awesome. I'll be there next week. Love you, Charlie." She smiles as they hang up. She's going to do what she loves again, and she couldn't help but feeling a little giddy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all soooo much for the feedback. Just a friendly reminder that I do understand that this is NOT how Meryl and Maks would treat each other in real life. This story is simply made up in my head and is for entertainment purposes only. This chapter might seem a little random but it’s got some cute bits with Ana and Charlie so I hope you like it.

“Be safe, don’t forget to skype us whenever you have time. We’re really gonna miss you and Anastasia.” Cheryl wipes a tear from her eyes. “I love you both.” She presses a kiss to her granddaughters head before handing her back to Meryl.  
"We’ll be safe. We’ll talk soon, okay? Don’t worry about us." Meryl gives her mothers hand a reassuring squeeze before picking Ana’s suitcase and putting it into the trunk of her car. "And before you say it again, yes I’ll stop driving if I get too tired. I won’t risk our lives to make it there a few hours earlier."  
"I’m just worried about my babies!" Cheryl lets out a saddened laugh. "I’m gonna come see you guys soon. I’ll miss Ana too much."  
"I hope so," Meryl opened the back door to her car and started to buckle Ana into her carseat. "We’ll visit on holidays, and I’ll make time to skype you guys at least twice a month. Tell Daddy I love him, okay?" Meryl places a kiss on her mothers hand before getting into her car. "We love you Ma!"  
"Be safe!" Cheryl called one last time before Meryl pulled out of the driveway, leaving her safe and sheltered Michigan life behind. It was time to do what was right for her, she needed to be independent for Anastasia. It’s been nearly two years since Maks and her have last spoken, he’d want her to have moved on by now.  
Well, then again, he never really knew how Meryl felt about him.  
—-  
It was late by the time Meryl pulled into a motel, she had wanted to stay on the road as long as possible. She quickly payed for a room and unbuckled Anastasia, grabbing her diaper bag and heading up the creaky wooden stairs to their second floor room.  
"Come on baby, let’s get you in some pajamas." She says quietly to the sleepy child, before changing her into a little pink nightgown.  
"You’re gonna sleep with mommy tonight, alright baby?" Ana nods her head before pulling Meryl’s fingers, motioning for her to lay down with her. "Hold on a second Ana. I’ll lay with you in just a minute." She makes her way around the room, turning on the TV and off the lights, slipping into a big t-shirt, which she realizes it was one of Maks - he left it at her house one night and she kept it ever since. As she crawls into bed next to an already sleeping Ana, she notices the news on the TV.  
"Maks Chmerkovskiy and Sofia Belkin’s split have been all over the news for the past week, " The news reporter starts "but we have the first exclusive interview with Maks right here." The scene cuts to an image of an older reporter, sitting next to Maks.  
Meryl gasps when she sees him. He hasn’t changed one bit. He was still as handsome and charming as ever. She reaches for the remote, but when he starts talking she forces herself to listen.  
"Sofia and I were just in different places in our lives." Maks tells the interviewer, shooting the camera a million dollar smile. "I’m gonna focus my time on being a full time, single daddy now." He winks and she scrambles for the remote, quickly turning it off before she ends up throwing something.  
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She paces around her hotel room. "Don’t cry, get it together Meryl." She whispers to herself.  
"He’s not worth your tears." She reminds herself before crawling in bed next to Ana, pressing a few kisses to her forehead. "I guess I can thank Maks for you." She whispers to her daughter. "You’re perfect."  
And at that moment, shes reminded that no matter what happened between her and Maks in the past, he didn’t matter to her anymore. All that mattered was her little family of two right there.  
—-  
"Meryl! I’m so glad you guys are back." Charlie pulls her into a big bear hug before taking Anastasia from her. "Aw, you’ve gotten so big since the last time i’ve seen you!" He coos at the toddler. She giggles and grabs a fistful of his hair, bringing her mouth to it.  
"Baby, don’t pull hair." Meryl warns her, pulling her fingers off of his blonde locks. "She’s always had a thing for hair. Anyways, where do I put our stuff?"  
"In your old room. Nobody’s been in there since you left, I guess I always had a little bit of hope that you’d come back." He shoots her a half grin. "Tanith and I got you a crib the other day. It was her’s when she was little, we plan on using it when we have kids. But for now its all yours."  
"That’s so sweet of you guys, really. Thank you so much, for everything." Meryl gives Charlie a kiss on the cheek before grabbing two of their suitcases and hauling them up the stairs, leaving Charlie to watch Ana. As soon as she enters the room she’s overwhelmed with memories, but most of them were good memories.  
Charlie wasn’t lying when he said nobody had been in there since she left. The room looks just the way she remembered it to be two years ago. Meryl smiles a little before setting down the suitcases and gently clicking the bedroom door closed behind her, flopping down on the bed. She inhales sharply, almost hoping the sheets would still smell like Maks. They didn’t, they smelled fresh and clean, but she didn’t mind. She closes her eyes, and for once she fall right asleep.  
—-  
"Morning sleepyhead. We ordered pizza, it just got here." Charlie smiles at Meryl, gently bouncing Anastasia on his lap, the toddler giggling and pulling on his blonde locks. "Your daughter is a handful, but a cute handful!" He adds quickly.  
Meryl shoots a playful glare at her friend as she enters the room, still feeling a little drowsy from her nap. “Sorry I left you to take care of her,” she stops talking to let out a big yawn, “I was so tired from all the driving. Thank you for watching her.” She smiles down at her daughter, watching Charlie put her down, and her starting to walk around the living room, one hand positioned on the couch for stability.  
"Come on, little one. Let’s go eat." She scoops a squealing Anastasia up and brings her to the kitchen, where Charlie had already set up the highchair she brought. "When do we start work?" Meryl shoots a glance over her shoulder at the blonde man leaning against the doorway, fondly watching Anastasia chew on small pieces of pizza.  
"Monday. We’ll be learning our schedule and getting to know the kids for most of the first week though." He uncrosses his arms and shoves them in his front pocket, smiling at the young woman sitting with her child. "I’m really glad you guys are back, Mer. It’s gonna be awesome being in Ana’s life. Although I think it’s gonna make Tanith want a baby even more."  
"Are you thinking of having one?" Meryl wiggles her eyebrows at her friend.  
He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe I meant having Ana around would convince me to have a baby.” He laughs and walks over to the small child, placing a kiss on her head and receiving a squeal in return. “I mean come on, look at her. How could you not want kids when you see this adorable face.”  
"That’s true, she is perfect. She takes after me." Meryl smirks at Charlie and he playfully hits her arm. "I’m gonna give her a bath and get her in bed, it’s been a long day. Thanks again for helping me, Charlie."  
"Night Meryl." He smiles as she takes a pizza covered Anastasia up the stairs for a bath.  
After Ana’s bath, she brings her into the bedroom to change her. “We’re gonna rearrange this room soon, little one.” She says while slipping a pair of pajamas on her. “Then we can make new memories here, even better ones. Now come on, i’ll read you a story.” Anastasia crawls on her mothers lap, quickly falling asleep on her chest, and for the night the two of them slept peacefully, excited to start their new life in LA.


End file.
